Reflections

With my 30th birthday fast approaching (it'll be here on Monday, *sigh*), I have found myself in a very reflective mood lately. I, like most women, fear the aging process and, like most, the prospect of leaving my twenties and entering my thirties is a little bit scary. I have mixed emotions about it. Looking back on my early to mid twenties, those are not years I am particularly proud of, nor were they times that were particularly kind. Some of the toughest things I have had to deal with in life happened in my twenties, you'd think that I'd be all to happy to see them go. But they were also times when I had a LOT of fun, made a LOT of memories, good and bad, and learned an awful lot about myself. I look back on the last few years in particular and I can see how much progress I've made in such a short time, and I can't help but feel good about it.

In that vein, I have been thinking the most about the lessons I have learned along the way. Though I don't have any children yet to impart my knowledge to, I do have a baby sister who will turn 16 this year. This is not the first milestone year we have shared. The year I started university was the year she started kindergarten. I can see so much of my personality at 16 reflected in her at 16, and so I thought, what kind of things do I wish someone had told me on my 16th birthday that would have been useful in getting me through my 20's? And so I have decided that it's time for another list, this one being the 30 most important lessons of the last 30 years. Here goes...

1) Never ever ever be afraid to share your feelings with people. Tell people you love them, that you "like" them, or when they hurt your feelings. Confrontation is a good thing when mixed with tact. Always be honest with yourself and others.
2) Never let fear hold you back. Don't be afraid to do something or try something because you're afraid you'll be embarrassed. Go for it. The things I regret the most are the things I missed out on because I was too shy to try.
3) Take care of your body. Start early establishing good habits. Eat well and exercise. You'll thank yourself for it later. McDonald's is not really food.
4) Boys are not that scary. Plus they're shy too. And if a boy doesn't like you back, find one that does. But don't be afraid to tell them just cause you think they might not like you back. You'll never know if you don't ask. See #1.
5) Don't smoke. It's REALLY hard to quit later.
6) Sex is complicated and best with a person you know cares about you and will take care of you. Sex is not to be used to make you feel better about yourself. Be picky.
7) Don't blame your parents for how you turn out. We are all a product of our environment to some degree, but your parents are just people who make lots of mistakes. You'll understand when you become an adult and realise that you are just making decisions and hoping for the best, without knowing the outcome until later. Which brings me to...
8) You'll never feel like a grown up, no matter how old you get. I still feel as confused as I did at 16. The choices only get harder and more important. Get used to feeling lost.
9) Don't waste your time on people who don't make you feel good. Surround yourself with positive vibes. Don't be afraid to walk away from toxic friends.
10) Travel as much as possible, as early as possible. There is a lot of world out there to see.
11) Make very sure you know what you want to do before investing a lot of time and money into school. It's better to take some time off and be sure than to make a rash decision because you think you're supposed to.
12) On that note, don't do things just because you're "supposed to". Do things because you want to and you think it's the right decision for YOU.
13) You can't make other people happy, you can only make yourself happy. Don't make important decisions about your life because it's what someone else thinks is best.
14) Sometimes it's a good idea to talk to your mom on the phone for 3 hours about nothing. Or everything.
15) You learn a lot of interesting things by talking to strangers. Just don't get in their car ;)
16) Looking stupid can be really fun. The older you get, the less embarrassing it becomes. I make an ass of myself in front of a lot of people every day. It's my job, and that's why I love it.
17) Take care of other people whenever you can. You may think you have it rough, but there is always someone who has it worse than you. Volunteering and donating is good for the soul, and good karma to boot.
18) Sometimes the biggest mistake teaches us the biggest lesson. Find the good.
19) That also holds true to people. There's always a reason some people suck. You don't have to be friends with them, but remember that they are still people too, and treat them with respect, even if they don't deserve it.
20) Forgive easily. Grudges are heavy.
21) Just because you can have it now, doesn't mean you should. Save something for tomorrow. I am still trying to learn this one.
22) If you're in a place your mom would be appalled by, you probably shouldn't be there.
23) The best time to eat chocolate cake is in the morning. With milk.
24) Religion and morality are not necessarily synonymous, however they are supposed to complement each other.
25) It's hard to keep your cool sometimes, but you should still try. My mother tells me that when you lose your cool, you lose control. I am still learning this one too.
26) Take everything anyone tells you with a grain of salt. People are not always what they appear. Be careful who you give your trust to. It's a gift. Don't waste it.
27) Always have a back up plan, in case of worst case scenario.
28) Remember people's birthdays, mother's day, father's day, and Christmas. It reminds people you're thinking about them. Schedule books are priceless.
29) Read as much as you can. Knowledge is power. Even if you're reading brain candy, you're still improving your vocabulary.
30) Learning a few simple phrases in the language of the country your are visiting can make your experience that much better and more fulfilling. Make friends with the locals.

Happy Birthday Jody...Happy Birthday me....